Wednesday, November 10, 2010


When I was driving home from work today, I thought about someone that I was formerly obsessed with who is no longer in my life now. I wondered, What could I have done to prevent that situation? The truth is: Nothing.

When someone tells you they love you, and then if and when you come to the same realization only to find their love for you was only passing fancy, what happens? Obsession.

I couldn't fathom it. How could this have been someone that I thought would always be in my life, no matter what happened? And how could he just suddenly not feel the same, and then disappear out of my life?

I've come to realize that we were on two wavelengths: he went after me purely out of curiosity and unconcerned as to the damage he might incur to our friendship, and I went after him thinking he would be my soul mate and the risk would be worth it. I was really foolish and naive. I opened myself up to someone I deemed worthy, and I was wrong. I never thought I was a "I can fix him" kind of girl, but that was another symptom of the obsession. I hope I know better now. I don't think it's a misplaced hope, but life's road stretches out before me, and I know there's more mistakes to be made and lessons to learn. I hope I don't have to learn that one again.

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