Sunday, July 18, 2010

awfully long time between posts

It's my own fault for not writing in so long. Something always comes up that I deem more important than my writing, when really it is the most important thing to me. It's what keeps me sane most of the time... so I shouldn't be at all surprised that I've been flying off the handle more and more lately, since I don't have my "writing safety valve" in place.

I am angry at myself. I implemented an exercise and diet program for myself, and have let it go when I was doing so well. I had been working out at least three times a week for 45 minutes each time for over a month. I think it's been about three weeks since I worked out. I'm disappointed in myself. Typical Aries: all bluster and fire and drive at the start of something, and then fizzles out after a while, or gets easily bored with the whole thing.

Maybe the Universe has been trying to send out signals to me lately, and I've been stubbornly refusing to see them. I haven't had an e-mail request for a tarot reading in a very long time (not since March/April). This is not counting people I know and/or work with. I swapped readings recently, and my reading said that I'm going about things the wrong way... or perhaps not the wrong way, but a roundabout way. I use tarot cards to access my intuition, when maybe I should be cutting out the middleman (the cards) and just read for someone. This is a very scary thing for me. I always have anxiety about that. I've taken classes in intuition before at the Open Center (yes, there are classes in psychic development if you know where to look), and I asked a few people to be my guinea pigs when doing readings w/o cards. Was I accurate? Yes. Did it take a while for my predictions to be verified? Yes. It's that kind of waiting that I can't stand! I'm all about the instant gratification (another Aries trait). When I should just be happy that I'm of service to people, I'm not... it's never enough.

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