My website is my temple

That Damn Tarot Apprentice

2011-07-05T07:58:00.000-07:00

I warned you people that I was notoriously bad about blogging on here. Since starting my tarot blog, it has only gotten worse. So if you want new content, you're best served to check it out over there. New content is posted every Wednesday. However, if you're not a tarot lover, it probably won't be your cup of tea.

In my previous catch-up post (see here) I talked about participating in the Tarot Apprentice contest. I'm sure there are those of you still waiting with baited breath to know the results, right? ;)

Yes, I won. I AM the Tarot Apprentice. And boy, have I been getting my little tarot ass kicked, in all the best possible ways. So if you want to know all the tarot-y things I've been doing lately, go to the following places:

twitter.com/hsparry
tarotspell.blogspot.com
facebook.com/tarotbyhilary
tarotbyhilary.com [goes LIVE on Sept. 23]

See? I told you I've been a busy girl.

Review of The Devil, the Lovers, and Me

2011-06-16T21:12:00.000-07:00

The Devil, the Lovers, and Me: My Life in Tarot by Kimberlee Auerbach

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I had started reading Kimberlee Auerbach's writing on thenervousbreakdown.com, so when I found out she wrote a book, especially through tarot (I'm a tarot reader) I was intrigued. My intrigue waited for several years.

Through the magic of kindle, I obtained this book. I read it in two days. Some parts of it are cringe-worthy (and rightly so) but I felt myself empathizing with Kimberlee and rooting for her through her many situations, such as "How long do I have to wait before he pops the question? Should I give up hope?", competing for the attention of a parent, being a parent to your parent instead of the kid, and the realizations that occur when you realize your parents are human after all.

A quick but satisfying read.

View all my reviews

Damage Control for Intolerance

2011-04-15T13:56:00.000-07:00

So, Harvard allows anti-witch rallies? Great. Well, here are some tips (if you happen to be a pagan, new ager, or open-minded human being) to combat ignorance from Courtney Weber (reposted with her permission):

Here are a few ideas you are free to ignore, but I encourage you to consider:

Don't point fingers, as in blaming the decent Christian guy next door who has always been nice to you for the crap pulled by these fuckers. Blame the action. Blame the mentality. Blame the individuals involved. Don't blame the religion and its affiliates.

Do be an out Pagan, if you are in a part of the country where it is safe to be one. Be a good neighbor, a good co-worker. Buy the Girlscout cookies and wear the Pentacle while you do it. Make a good impression on the person next to you, and maybe they'll take in of their own accord to educate their ignorant relatives at Thanksgiving about the Nice Pagan Lady at the office or on the block.

Don't be weird and secretive. Hiding your practices and acting shady when people ask you questions makes you think you have reason to hide what you do. Of course, keep personal matters of your group private, but be open to answering questions about your practices. Maybe they'll still think you're weird. But at least they won't think you drink blood of virgin kittens or some shit like that.

Do invite people of other faiths to your open gatherings. Help make them feel at home. Explain what's going on and do your best to show them a good time. There's a good chance they'll go back to their own communities or congregations and say, "Hey! Pagans are nice and throw a good party!"

Don't use social networking sites or blogs to announce your plans to curse the idiot who pissed you off in gym class. You sound like an idiot and you don't scare anyone. What you have succeeded in doing is in making the rest of us look bad.

Do use social networking and blogs to talk about your spiritual beliefs and your community building endeavors. Particularly if you are in an area where it isn't safe to be an open Pagan, this is a great way to help educate others in a safe format.

Don't alienate yourself either within your own Pagan community, or even just within your own self. Find friends and build bridges with other communities who share the same goals that you have.

Do be aware of religious persecution, but don't be paranoid. It ruins your own life. As my mom likes to say, "Don't give out free rent in your head."

Catch-Up Post

2011-04-05T09:10:00.001-07:00

I'm notoriously bad at keeping a blog going on a steady chronological basis. Forgive me.

Usually when I get behind in blogging, I review my last post in case I promised to post about something in the future and don't. In this case, the link to my review of Tarot of the Boroughs is here on my tarot blog. All things tarot-related are on my tarot blog. I am going to update it shortly with the following news:

I am entered in a contest called the Tarot Apprentice. The first challenge of this competition kicked off yesterday. To follow my progress in this contest, go to The Tarot Lady's blog (blog.thetarotlady.com). For guidelines of the competition, they're here.

I am extremely excited about this opportunity! So, once again, this blog may suffer from lack of updates, but for a good reason this time and not just because I'm lazy.

Reload the Coffee; I'm Going to Blog!

2011-01-17T11:23:00.001-08:00

It is a blog! Yes, only ten days have elapsed since my last blog! This shows Progress! I am maturing already! (until I abandon all hopes of posting in a consistent manner, like I usually do)

But FIRST! More coffee! Hrm. A line has formed in my local coffeehouse in the time it took me to write about maturity and consistency. I sense an evil pattern afoot, a plot to deprive me of my caffeine because I am already hyper enough from the first coffee of the day. Perhaps... I should get this coffee to-go. In the hopes of going home and doing some cleaning to take advantage of the overcaffeination. Is that a word? I guess it is now.

----the above was written at around 2pm today in the throes of caffeine-induced frenzy----

Tonight I cleaned out my ears with a cotton swab and ended up poking my right eardrum. The pain was terrifying, and I'm still shaken hours after the incident.

In other news... well, there's not much else to report. I'm in the midst of writing a review of the Tarot of the Boroughs deck for my tarot blog, which I will post there by the end of the month (in all probability).

The solution to everything...

2011-01-05T12:09:00.000-08:00

... is always chocolate. Sometimes alcohol. Sometimes both combined in a delicate and beautiful combination known as chocolate liqueurs.

When I was a girl (I'd say around five or so) my mother received a Christmas/Holiday gift from someone: a little miniature wine case with little chocolates shaped as wine bottles (something like this, though the crate my mother received contained way more than eight mini-bottles). Each metallic wrapper bore the brand name of a different alcoholic product. One was peach schnapps. One was jet-black with the Jack Daniels brand on it. Each looked enticing. It was candy. Candy couldn't be bad, no way, no how.

I knew it was my mother's present, not mine. But the covetous thought of chocolates that did not belong to me was too great a temptation to ignore.

While my mother was in her bedroom, I sat quietly on the floor in the corner of the living room, unwrapping the little bottles from their crinkly prisons, biting the tops of the chocolate bottles, drinking the surprisingly potent and yummy liquid therein, and then shoving the devoid remains into my mouth. I disposed of the wrappers by hiding them underneath the sofa, one at a time.

When I came to the end of my devious excursion, I was left with a tiny crate. The empty crate was a strong reminder of the wrongness of what I had just done. 64 empty squares stared up at me in accusation.

After pondering my guilt for a brief moment, I placed the empty crate underneath the sofa as well.

I don't know how long this process took. It could have been as little as fifteen minutes. It could have been as long as an hour and a half. But, knowing that my mother would not leave me alone for so long, especially when I was so quiet, it was probably a lesser amount of time rather than a longer amount. Either way, she had some inkling that if it was too quiet, I was probably Up To Something.

She came out into the living room and looked at me suspiciously. By this time, I was sitting on the couch watching cartoons, wondering why the room was spinning like a top. Since she saw no evidence of tomfoolery, and since me watching cartoons looking like I was drunk was a normal occurrence, she went back into her room.

I thought I had gotten away with it... until later that night when she went to find the mini-crate and it was missing. That and me puking up something that smelled like rum and dark chocolate.

The End

Another book review

2010-11-11T08:06:00.001-08:00

Soulless by Gail Carriger

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I'll admit, I was a little disappointed when I started reading Soulless, but it really does pick up after the first few chapters. Her way of writing throws you for a loop at first, but stick with it and you'll get used to it in a way that doesn't translate into boredom.

I'll call this book charming, quaint, dirty, and completely satisfying. Alexia Tarabotti's adventures (or misadventures, as the case usually is) do not fail to keep you reading. I will be reading the next two books in this trilogy like devouring candy.

View all my reviews

L-O-V-E

2010-11-10T15:34:00.000-08:00

When I was driving home from work today, I thought about someone that I was formerly obsessed with who is no longer in my life now. I wondered, What could I have done to prevent that situation? The truth is: Nothing.

When someone tells you they love you, and then if and when you come to the same realization only to find their love for you was only passing fancy, what happens? Obsession.

I couldn't fathom it. How could this have been someone that I thought would always be in my life, no matter what happened? And how could he just suddenly not feel the same, and then disappear out of my life?

I've come to realize that we were on two wavelengths: he went after me purely out of curiosity and unconcerned as to the damage he might incur to our friendship, and I went after him thinking he would be my soul mate and the risk would be worth it. I was really foolish and naive. I opened myself up to someone I deemed worthy, and I was wrong. I never thought I was a "I can fix him" kind of girl, but that was another symptom of the obsession. I hope I know better now. I don't think it's a misplaced hope, but life's road stretches out before me, and I know there's more mistakes to be made and lessons to learn. I hope I don't have to learn that one again.

A very conscious decision

2010-11-02T18:16:00.000-07:00

Hello again, all.

I have removed my Nanowrimo word counter from this page, because I have decided not to do Nanowrimo this year. I am still absolutely in support of everyone that attempts the monumental undertaking of writing a novel in one month's time, but I know that I will not be able to do it this year.

A couple of reasons:

1) It's time to get serious about this religion business. Not because I am a serious person, not because my particular religion is so solemn, but because of my attitude towards it. I have been a practicing Pagan since eighteen years old, with quotes around the "practicing" part. I feel very much I've been talking the talk and not walking the walk, and I'm focused on changing that. And yes, Nano is only for the month of November, but Nano is to the detriment of everything else I want to continue to do throughout this month.

2) The boy has not read my successful attempt at Nano yet. He started, but hasn't finished, and that successful attempt happened two years ago. Since he was the motivating factor for my completion of Nano, and since he was inspiration for one of the characters, I feel very unmotivated about this whole Nano endeavor knowing that he hasn't read my successful novel. I know that that shouldn't be the point of Nano, but I still feel the lack of motivation.

3) Any writing I do this month will very much be of the nonfiction variety, mostly having to do with my burgeoning attempts at codifying my beliefs into words. Nano is decidedly all about fiction pursuits.

Please, if anyone reads this, do not be dissuaded by my lack of motivation if you're thinking about attempting NaNoWriMo. There is no feeling quite like winning Nano.

For more info on NaNoWriMo, go to nanowrimo.org.

Book of Shadows

2010-10-07T06:51:00.000-07:00

Book of Shadows: A Modern Woman's Journey into the Wisdom of Witchcraft and the Magic of the Goddess by Phyllis Curott

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

On second reading of this book, I realized that my life now is mirroring the author's, with the whole "Persephone's descent into the Underworld" theme. All that glitters most certainly is not gold, and the thing of true value in this world are our spirits.

An amazing book, and highly recommended for those people still seeking out their own form of spirituality.

View all my reviews

unfounded fears of a tarot reader, strangeness, and other stuff

2010-09-16T15:29:00.001-07:00

The Tarot of the Boroughs launch party went fabulously well, and though I only got to do short readings for four people, the night was most certainly not wasted! And my boyfriend bought the Tarot of the Boroughs deck, so I was both proud and pleased.

It always amuses me the types of people that are attracted to readers of any kind. There really are some weirdos out there, and I certainly wasn't spared from that at the launch party, because one of them sat at my table. He was a very strange guy that gave off that "not quite there" vibe. But, since he sat at my table, I had to read for him. I think the reading went fine and I was accurate, but I wouldn't know since I never remember what I say to people during readings; the info's for them and not for me, that's why I don't retain it. Dave (my boyfriend) told me later on that the strange guy had spoken to him earlier, asking him the reason why he had attended the event, and Dave had pointed over to me at my table and said, "My girlfriend's doing readings." So, in a way, I sort of had a bouncer for the event. But sure enough, as soon as Dave wasn't in the room, said strange guy (who had been hovering around my table) went ahead and sat down.

I suppose there's various levels of weirdness. I consider myself a little strange, as well as most of the people I get along with. A little weird is a good thing, I feel. And then there are the people that give off that strange vibe that have what I like to call "crazy eye". You've seen it before, I'm sure. Try looking for it the next time you see a mugshot of a cult leader or something like that. I swear that this guy I read for had it. I would have preferred walking over hot coals than read for him. I felt my spirit pulling back away from the table, and just wanted to crawl into a small part of myself and stay there. So I read for him, and I remember him nodding, and leaning in to hear what I had to say, but leaning in toward me too much. Very uncomfortable!

Other than that, it was a great event and I had a good time.

Confessions of a Nervous Tarot Reader

2010-08-25T14:03:00.000-07:00

I figured it's more appropriate to post this on my personal blog more so than my tarot blog. Tarot blog = trying to give off the appearance of a "professional". Personal blog = somehow okay to admit that sometimes I'm scared shitless of giving strangers readings.

I will be doing my tarot thing at the Tarot of the Boroughs launch party tomorrow from 8-9:30pm at the Bowery Poetry Club. For more information, go to my tarot blog (tarotspell.blogspot.com).

And now for the whining, "I suck" portion of my post. I am very nervous about reading at this event, because I will be reading with the deck Tarot of the Boroughs, which I just received on Monday. I will be bringing my default deck (The Llewellyn Tarot) with me as a backup. However, since this is the launch party for TOB, the emphasis is on the new deck. My thoughts run as follows: "I'm nervous; what if I'm not accurate?; I shouldn't be using my default deck as a crutch; etc."

No more time to think about it. Might as well not be nervous, because I already said I'd do it! ARgh!

American Gods

2010-07-26T23:57:00.001-07:00

American Gods by Neil Gaiman

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I'm not going to litter this review with spoilers... suffice it to say, though it is written by Gaiman, I can understand why fans of his might not have liked this book. Its themes are vast, deep, and sometimes overwhelming. I'll need to process this one for the rest of my lifetime, but I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.

View all my reviews >>

awfully long time between posts

2010-07-18T11:15:00.000-07:00

It's my own fault for not writing in so long. Something always comes up that I deem more important than my writing, when really it is the most important thing to me. It's what keeps me sane most of the time... so I shouldn't be at all surprised that I've been flying off the handle more and more lately, since I don't have my "writing safety valve" in place.

I am angry at myself. I implemented an exercise and diet program for myself, and have let it go when I was doing so well. I had been working out at least three times a week for 45 minutes each time for over a month. I think it's been about three weeks since I worked out. I'm disappointed in myself. Typical Aries: all bluster and fire and drive at the start of something, and then fizzles out after a while, or gets easily bored with the whole thing.

Maybe the Universe has been trying to send out signals to me lately, and I've been stubbornly refusing to see them. I haven't had an e-mail request for a tarot reading in a very long time (not since March/April). This is not counting people I know and/or work with. I swapped readings recently, and my reading said that I'm going about things the wrong way... or perhaps not the wrong way, but a roundabout way. I use tarot cards to access my intuition, when maybe I should be cutting out the middleman (the cards) and just read for someone. This is a very scary thing for me. I always have anxiety about that. I've taken classes in intuition before at the Open Center (yes, there are classes in psychic development if you know where to look), and I asked a few people to be my guinea pigs when doing readings w/o cards. Was I accurate? Yes. Did it take a while for my predictions to be verified? Yes. It's that kind of waiting that I can't stand! I'm all about the instant gratification (another Aries trait). When I should just be happy that I'm of service to people, I'm not... it's never enough.

Idiots being idiots again

2010-02-21T04:24:00.000-08:00

One little tweet from Neil Gaiman, and I found out about this. Can all this madness please stop? I feel like this is just a page out of the haters-being-haters playbook. JK Rowling wrote an incredibly satisfying seven-book series that captured the imaginations of both children AND adults, and I don't think I'm exaggerating that she is one of the reasons that being a bookworm is "cool" again.

Now then. I'm going to use a quote from the article that absolutely sums up the crux of what I feel on the subject. "Non-writers think it’s the ideas, rather than the execution, that make a book. They’ve got that backward." It is one thing to get an idea. Ideas are easy things. Everyone has ideas. However, they're slippery little suckers. Because putting your ideas to paper and having them make sense is the most difficult part. It's part of the reason that keeps me employed as a copy editor. It's a big reason why I hit road blocks in my writing, such as the very common "writer's block". It's not a lack of ideas... it's being at a loss as to how to go about getting the idea to the page and have it come off as how you imagined it in your head.

If I was a stupid person willing to sue for plagiarism, here is one of my own ideas that I have turned my pen to, and the corresponding work/tv show/movie/book/etc. that I would sue (but I wouldn't, because damnit, the execution is the key and not the idea!):

My work: Aphrodite's Daughter (about a matchmaker that finds out she's the unwitting daughter of Aphrodite)
Corresponding work that I feel (and others have felt) are similar to my work:
• Valentine (American TV series... albeit quite short-lived)
• Percy Jackson and the Olympians (book series and soon-to-be movie series... in which a boy realizes he's Poseidon's son... I think, I haven't read the books yet, but my friend's son has)
• Should I also sue all greek and roman myths as well, for using a pantheon as a basis for my story, or should I be sued for using them?
• Should Neil Gaiman (author of American Gods and Anansi Boys) in turn sue me, because I used the idea of someone being a child of a god (Anansi Boys) in my work?

Let's be clear here in where the ideas came from (in case anyone tries for the "I read or saw something else and then wrote" defense). Valentine came out over a year after I wrote Aphrodite's Daughter, and all I did was see it on the TV, laugh, and call up my friend Lorraine and say "Do you recognize this idea from somewhere else?" Percy Jackson and the Olympians, I had no idea existed until this fall when my friend's son was describing the latest book to me after he had finished reading it. And for good measure, I wrote Aphrodite's Daughter perhaps a year before I read Anansi Boys.

In short, I feel like this case against JK Rowling is equivalent to someone suing McDonald's for burning themselves for their coffee being too hot. Sadly, we've seen how THOSE lawsuits went. I just pray and hope that THIS lawsuit is seen for the disgusting money-grubbing ploy that it is.

*dismounts high-horse and goes back to bed*

hidden delights

2010-02-09T20:29:00.000-08:00

I am in love with leafcutter designs. I now own a block stamp and tags, touting "home grown" on them, a call to get back to handmade... just make something! Create!

Once I find my ink pad in all of my mess, I'm going to stamp "home grown" on the back of this (Yes, I made it):

Squeeness. And I'm taking a vacation day from my dayjob and going to Philly with Jackie to attend a trade show and buy more pretty things for the store. So excited.

quickie

2010-01-30T12:45:00.000-08:00

My macbook is half naked. What I mean by this is that I have a hard case surrounding my macbook, and right now it's going bottomless. Sans pants. I was having some problems with it developing "condensation" in between the hard case and the actual computer case, leaving wetness in between, around where the screw for opening the battery is. I'm testing out leaving off the bottom so it doesn't have the chance to form this "condensation". I brought it to the Apple store a couple of days ago, and the genius there said there was nothing wrong with it, so I'm trying not to worry.

Anyway, looking forward to a few things in my life right now, and none of them includes work. I am looking forward to attending a trade show for the store tomorrow and finding some goodies, going to my favorite restaurant afterward, and then next weekend attending another tarot workshop, this time focused on love readings. It also falls on my friend's birthday, who is also attending the tarot workshop.

Since I am still in my jammies, I think it's high time I get out of them, hop in the shower, and actually start my day at 4p.m.! Gosh, I love Saturdays.

Waiting for Inspiration to Strike

2010-01-10T13:52:00.000-08:00

Here I sit over at the boyfriend's house, using my macbook to try to write. It's not working. Instead of writing, I've been playing games on pogo.com, while watching the Ravens/Patriots game. That game has since ended (with the Patriots losing! Yay!), and now I'm on to watching the Packers/Cardinals game. I'm not rooting for either team. So now the Jets move on to play the Chargers next Sunday, which will be interesting.

Tomorrow I will be ice-skating with the Temple of Craft ladies at Bryant Park. Either that or drinking at Bryant Park and watching everyone else skate. Problem with that though is that I've been asked to teach everyone to skate backward (since I know how to). Since I haven't gone ice-skating in over ten years, I probably will be falling all over the ice like a rookie.

My battery like is at 23 minutes left, so I'm going to finish this up and turn my macbook off. I have accomplished nothing this weekend. And frankly, I'm unconcerned by that!

At 5am, tv becomes a mental wasteland

2009-12-31T02:12:00.000-08:00

If I watch one more informercial, I'll scream. You know things are low when you watch the Girls Gone Wild informercial and try to calculate the total gross IQ of all the girls featured. Ain't pretty.

The only product that I know that is still advertised in an informercial style that I know works is Bare Minerals, because I bought it through Sephora. Bare Minerals pretty effectively turned me into the makeup junkie that I am today.

The reason that I'm up is that I fell asleep on the couch again soon after arriving home from Bryant Park. Mum and I went to lunch at Celsius, watched the ice skaters, basked under the heat lamp at our table outside, and then walked around and browsed at the kiosks there. We took a brisk walk over to the tree at Rockefeller Center (even after I warned her that it would be very busy there), stayed for five minutes (at most) because indeed, it was crowded there, and then walked back to Grand Central to catch the train home.

When we got home, I promptly fell asleep on the couch (around 7:30) and woke up at 2:30am... it's now nearly 6am. Will I fall back asleep again? Probably not, since I got a full night's sleep already. I've got my macbook on my lap in bed, and will shortly shut it off to try to sleep. If it happens great. If it doesn't, so be it. The last day of 2009 might be off to an early start!

artsy people...

2009-12-23T08:11:00.000-08:00

...should not be allowed to get away with being flaky. ESPECIALLY if their art is also their business.

I'm surfing the Internet the other day, reminding myself of all the goodies I helped Jackie to order for the store. And then I am reminded of all the goodies that I LOVED that we never received because the artist flaked on us. It is especially annoying when I am helping to buy stuff both for the store and for myself.

For example, I adored these Earthgirl bags, but we never received them. We even e-mailed the company to follow up with them, but they never responded.

Bah humbug. There goes my Yule gift I was going to give to myself. Maybe it's just a sign that I really didn't need another bag in the first place.

update

2009-12-10T22:25:00.000-08:00

Working hard, or hardly working? Isn't it funny that some days you work your ass off, only to turn around and look back at the day and feel that you've accomplished nothing? Yeah, I'm feeling that kind of frustration right now, and my NaNoWriMo novel didn't survive that kind of work pressure. At the very least I might revisit what I accomplished with it (which is 20,000 words thus far). To more exciting news:

I attended this tarot workshop this past Saturday, and it was awesome. I'm sure I will blog about it more on my tarot blog at a later date. I seem to always be refilling my tarot business cards whenever I'm at Whimsies, so I'm taking that as a sign that there are more people out there interested in my readings than I originally thought. I'm just putting that positive vibe out there, and seeing what comes back from it. I wore my pentacle again for the workshop on Saturday, and it just felt right putting it on, and leaving it on. I'm not fighting that kind of feeling. I'm just meant to wear it again. I'm going to take it as a sign that I need to be reminded of my spirituality more at this time. And that's okay with me.

tarot, nanowrimo, and other assorted side-projects

2009-11-05T21:32:00.000-08:00

It's been awhile since I've posted. I think I might be slightly insane for making the pact to do National Novel Writing Month (www.nanowrimo.org) again. I also might be insane for creating an entirely separate blog to write posts about tarot (tarotspell.blogspot.com), however I figured it was the best solution to the problem of Geocities closing down on October 26th. Geocities was where my small little site about tarot resided.

I've been inspired by a few different blogs I've seen lately about tarot, and I wanted to share my own thoughts on the cards. Add to the discussion, if you will. I'm also going to a tarot workshop in December, and am psyched about it. Even the name, "Throw out the fucking book!" appeals to all my senses!

Anyway, that's it for me right now. I'm going to take a shower and try to head to bed. I'm behind on my word count for Nano already, so will have to make up for it tomorrow. Eek.

American Gods

2009-09-18T22:02:00.000-07:00

I read this essay tonight (or this morning, rather), and now it's simply just not an option anymore. I have to read American Gods. From just the briefest description of what Gaiman says American Gods is about within the essay, I'm itching to have the book in my hands right now. Alas, 'tis not so.

Reading his essay got me to thinking about this. Being a first-generation American is a strange experience. Or I would imagine so. Since it is my reality, I guess I don't find it so strange, but perhaps it would be if I was an outsider looking in. I haven't really stopped to think about it in great detail until this week, when my cousin came to visit. He was in New York on business, so he took the train up to our sleepy little town. My boyfriend came over, and it was the first time he got to meet anyone from my extended family. I've been dating Dave for over two years now. His family is in the same county, state, oh heck, country. Mine is an ocean away, and has been for my entire life. So I've met at least 2/3 of his extended family, and he's met about .000001 of mine.

All these people that I've been introducing to him as my aunts or my cousins are not, in fact, relations by blood. When you have an ocean separating actual kin from kin, you learn to make do with what you have. We carved out a family in America made up of very close friends. Do I find it weird that I probably have cousins that I don't even know about? Sure.

It just seems that we all get caught up in our everyday lives, and the people that you constantly make the effort to interact with are the ones that will continue to be a part of your life. And the ones that don't make the effort or you don't make the effort for simply fall away as the time passes. I'm not sure of whether this is negative or positive. It simply is.

these dreams

2009-07-22T03:38:00.000-07:00

I dreamt of Malaysia last night. I couldn't tell you why; I've never been there before and anything I've ever seen of Kuala Lumpur I saw in the movie Entrapment.

I was floating down a river, and at one point I was in a store buying crystals and a green-stoned multi-strand bracelet, and the saleswoman there asked me what my zodiac sign was and how old I was, and I said, "Thirty." Dave was there with me. Perhaps a future trip? I've never expressed traveling to Malaysia before. Very strange.

musings when I should be in bed

2009-06-16T23:26:00.000-07:00

My altar has turned into a temporary catch-all surface. It is now covered with not only my pagan spiritual items (wand, incense holder, candles, crystal ball, etc.), but with my old pair of eyeglasses, bits of paper that I wrote notes on, and most of my jewelry.

Methinks I need to have more respect for my religion by making my altar... hmmm... perhaps the sacred place that it should be by definition.

Fuck it. I need to clean my entire room.

long quizzle

2009-01-29T08:24:00.000-08:00

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
hair

2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
black with a rainbow butterfly on the back (it's an Ed Hardy hoodie)

3. Do you like coffee?
yes

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
eh, okay

7. Do you say aim or a-i-m?
A-I-M

8. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
don't remember, my dreams have been hazy at best lately

9. Could you eat your favorite food everyday for a month?
what kind of question is that? OF COURSE.

10. What are you craving?
right now? an orgasm. I am such a simple creature.

11. Do you floss?
nope

12. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
carnies

15. Would you dance with me to the taco song?
what the fuck is the taco song?

16. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
yup, probably during a car ride

17. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
lick and bite

20. Have you ever met a celebrity?
yes

21. Do you like cottage cheese?
yes

22. What's the last song you had stuck in your head?
Quickly by John Legend

23. How many countries have you visited?
including the US, 3, the other two being the U.K. and Canada

24. Are your parents strict?
my father was

25. Would you go sky diving?
yes

26. Would you go out to eat with Bush?
I would go out to eat with him if dessert was shooting him in the head and fucking the bullet hole.

27. Would you throw potatoes at him?
why waste the potatoes?

30. Do you rent movies often?
I usually buy movies

31. Who sits behind you in your math class?
uhhhhhhhh, don't take classes anymore, and especially not math classes

34. Can you count backwards from 74?
yes

35. Where are you going to be Saturday night?
watching the UFC PPV

36. Brown or white eggs?
no preferences

37. Like rap music?
depends

38. Do you currently like someone?
yes

39. Experienced the twin towers falling in New York?
saw it on TV from Binghamton... made frantic calls to my mother, considering she likes to go down to the city to do touristy things on a whim, and wouldn't rest until I heard her voice.

41. What day of the week is it?
Tuesday

42. What was your lunch?
too early for lunch

45. Ever have cream puffs?
yes, and they're good

46. Have you ever seen the Butterfly Effect?
nope

47. So, how about them Yankees?
What about them?

50. What is your bus number for school?
don't remember

51. Is your hair curly?
no, naturally wavy

52. Last time you cried?
last week in my car out of frustration

53. Ever walked into a wall?
of course. I'm a clutz.

55. Have you ever bought anything from Pac Sun?
yes, an awesome CD holder

56. Are you currently wearing socks?
yes

57. Favorite time of the year?
Fall

59. Are you a generally happy person?
yes... finally

61. The next person you'll hold hands with?
Dave

62. Do you sleep with the TV on?
sometimes

64. Do you think you're old?
no

65. Are you afraid of the darK?
nope

66. Do you like your life right now?
Yes.

67. When's the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
probably a couple months ago

68. Do you sleep with your underwear on?
yes I do

69. Do you have good vision?
nope

70. Is he hot?
absolutely

71. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
I have done, but never forgotten

72. Do you have a job?
yes

73. Describe your best friends?
the majority of time they're a source of great comfort and joy

74. What brands are you wearin?
Daniel Benjamin and Bubblegum pants

75. Can I lick you?
uh, sure?

76. Have you ever crawled through a window?
yes

77. Can you handle the truth?
I want to say yes, but sometimes the truth is really hard to hear

78. What was the most recent thing you bought?
toiletries and such from Target

79. How often do you talk on the phone?
every day.

80. Are you in a complicated relationship?
Thankfully not.

81. Do you hate more than 3 people?
does the entire human race count?

82. Have you ever tripped someone?
not intentionally

83. Are you sarcastic?
very much so

84. Have you ever slapped someone?
hells yes

85. Like to read?
I read A LOT.

86. Do you use chap stick?
not really

87. Are you too forgiving?
sometimes yes

88. Do you own something from Hot Topic?
yes

89. Do you own a gun?
nope

90. Have you made a prank phone call?
yes... "I'M HOOKED ON PHONICS AND I CAN'T GET OFF!" man, that was a good Christian retreat.

91. Have you ever been in a castle?
yes, in Wales

92. Do you like your hair?
yes

93. Do you like yourself?
sometimes

94. Are you closer to your mother or father?
mother

95. Do you chat on AIM often?
yes

98. What is the closest thing to you thats red ?
my mousepad

99. What type(s) of food do you like?
I'm willing to try lots of different foods

100. What goal(s) do you wish to accomplish by the time summer ends?
Learn how to play at least one song on my guitar.

I DID IT!

2008-11-29T15:49:00.000-08:00

I DID IT I DID IT I DID IT!!!!!!!!!

Bookie intermission

2008-08-31T13:41:00.001-07:00

The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood

My review

rating: 3 of 5 stars
A disconcerting look at a possibility of the future if women were taken away what the worked hard for... equality. I can't in good conscience give this more than a fair rating, since I found so many things in it that a copyeditor should have caught (however, I can't help but wonder if that was on purpose or not, considering women are no longer allowed to read or write within the story of the book).

View all my reviews.

Why Editing Matters

2008-07-24T16:44:00.000-07:00

I'm a copy editor, and damn proud of it. I worked really hard to get the position, and was copyediting almost a full year in my previous position before I got my promotion to full-fledged copy editor at my job. I work at a publishing company, which is not the same as being a copy editor at a newspaper, I know, however recent news has compelled me to speak about this.

Editors and copy editors are losing their jobs at an alarming rate, and part of the reason (besides our failing economy) is that people don't see the need for that job function. I say, what could be MORE necessary? Spell check doesn't catch everything, and writers that think they're putting something coherent on the page usually are not. And really, that's to be expected... have often have you written something that differs from what you meant to say? An odd "and" instead of an "are", a misspelling of someone's name, a random typo... this are just some of the items that a copy editor would catch. Though you may not know the difference between "everyday" and "every day" ("everyday" is a modifier, such as "everyday hero", while "every day" as two words would be found in the sentence, "I brush my hair a hundred times every day"), I'm sure you would be more than a little put-off that a newspaper inadvertently had "Obbama" in print. Copy editing lends credibility... it's the constant question, "Did you really mean to say this?"

Please go to Why Editing Matters for the 118 reasons (thus far) that editing matters.

For more information about job losses in the newspaper industry, see here, or read Gene Weingarten's ode to copy editors here.

Psychic Training Camp starts today!

2008-07-09T10:27:00.000-07:00

I signed up for a class on Intuition at the Open Center. It's being taught by Stacey Wolf, author of the book Psychic Living and others. The class starts tonight and runs for six weeks. Very excited!

10 Favorite Time Wasters

2008-05-27T06:39:00.000-07:00

I like last week's Ten on Tuesday better, but was too late in seeing it. Here's this week: my time wasters.

1) The Internet. So broad a time waster that most of the items on this list will be internet-related.
2) Facebook, and every application that runs under facebook... I could spend HOURS on it.
3) Reading blogs, mostly Grammarphobia.
4) Pogo games. I blame Dave for this new obsession... I love games like Word Whomp and Word Riot. Damn him.
5) Reading magazines with a red pen in hand. Yes, I know, I get paid to copyedit, so why do it for free? One: I stay sharp, and two: I'm surprised how many typos and inconsistencies get through to press. If I find something while I'm reading, I want that red pen by my side to mark it, even if it's only me that sees it.
6) Watching the map on Bookcrossing.com. It makes me jealous when I see books in Australia being caught, and they're not mine. The further one of mine went is Maine. Drat.
7) I Love the 80s marathons... damn VH1 for exploiting my childhood nostalgia.
8) Surfing Sephora for makeup tips, current trends, and limited edition makeup. It is the Mecca for any makeup nut.
9) Playing America's Psychic Challenge on Lifetime.com.
10) Making music playlists. I have a small journal specifically for themed playlists, such as "Love Sucks Vol. II", "Witchy Mix", and "Workout Mix". I am a music freak.

Five on Friday

2008-05-23T07:00:00.000-07:00

yoinked from the May 2nd Five on Friday, since this is the newest one on their site:

1. What types of board games do you like to play, if any?
Usually I'll play Monopoly, Pictionary, Sorry!, and The Game of Life. Just played Apples to Apples last Saturday, which was a lot of fun. I'd play that again in a heartbeat. Oh, and Cranium... because it has a bunch of games in one. And Trivial Pursuit, any version.

2. How often do you play board games?
Not very often... more likely to play them as drinking games.

3. What is your absolutely favorite game?
Probably Trivial Pursuit, since I've been playing that the longest. I started on the regular adult Trivial Pursuit when I was five or so.

4. Describe your Monopoly strategy.
I have none... I'm really terrible at it. I just buy and buy and buy until I have no money left. I'm pathetic.

5. Do you feel that board games are becoming obsolete with the rise in computer and video gaming?
I feel like video gaming is more of an isolated thing. You kind of do it on your own. Board games bring people together more, so yes, they're not as popular, but I don't think they'll die out entirely.

notes found while cleaning

2008-05-11T20:49:00.001-07:00

While I was cleaning up I found a few notebooks that I used in high school (the majority of which from my senior year '99). They really cracked me up to read them... especially since it'll be ten years next year since my high school graduation. Funny to think that in high school everything was so important and life-or-death when it really wasn't. I feel like I've changed so much since high school in all the right ways. Looking back I felt like I was such a mousy, quiet person. I'm still introverted, and yet not.

A few choice tidbits from my journals of yore (most of these are within notes from AP Lit class):

"she thinks she's so smart but she's actually not and she forces her views on other people who really don't want to listen to her" [about a girl that really annoyed me that was in ALL my AP classes, and I think had a thing for my former crush]

"Me and Eric have this whole sexual tension thing going on and it's really annoying." [about said former crush that I no longer had a crush on... I had this odd feeling that he started to like me as soon as I DIDN'T like him anymore]

"Alyson is going to tell Janet that I defended those kids from Littleton that killed people but that's not true. Why did she tell Dad of all people who won't understand me at all" [regarding my sister and stepmother... I love my sister dearly and we've become much closer as I've gotten older, but sometimes she completely misunderstands me. this was right after Columbine happened]

I also found another entry in the same notebook dated in April of '05... right after my resignation from the nutritionist's office. It's about my inability to interact with people to do things that ever person needs to get done:

"It's been over a year since my last interview. Wish that job had worked out better than it did. Wish the office manager wasn't a devious snipe. So, moving on.
I've always been paranoid about new experiences. Riding the train. Riding the subway. Going into a big city all by myself. DMV. Banking. It's as if I want to get it perfect the first time. There's just no way. It's statistically impossible.
I'm attempting to be as zen as possible. Drank some herbal tea this morning, taking deep breaths, listening to soothing music.
I'm scared about getting lost. I'm scared of getting hit by (another) car. It feels like any fear in the world someone could have, I have had."

I'm so damn intuitive and insightful about other people's lives and not my own. It's either a symptom of I see what will happen and I don't want it to happen so I deny I see it in the first place. Prime example is knowing a relationship is wrong for you but letting it go on for longer than it should have, just to make it work. There's a difference between learning lessons and trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.

*sigh* Time for bed.

thoughts on rock band

2008-04-02T06:45:00.000-07:00

I honestly think that more bands should be submitting their songs to be made into downloadable songs for Rock Band. Why, you ask? Because I have gotten into a lot of new bands and discovered new songs I like because of it!

Examples:
I'm So Sick by Flyleaf (bass and vocals)
Why Do You Love Me by Garbage (bass and vocals)
Epic by Faith No More (bass)
Live Forever by Oasis (bass and vocals)
Tom Sawyer by Rush (bass and vocals)
Limelight by Rush (vocals)
Foreplay/Long Time by Boston (bass and vocals)
Here I Go Again by Ok Go (bass and vocals)
Move Along by The All-American Rejects (bass and vocals)
Run to the Hills by Iron Maiden (bass and vocals)
Maps by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs (bass and vocals)
Crushcrushcrush by Paramore (vocals)

Songs I Would Love to See as Downloadables:
Midlife Crisis by Faith No More
Subdivisions by Rush
Mystic Rhythms by Rush (not gonna happen, I know, but I can still hope)
Baba O'Riley by The Who
Fear of the Dark by Iron Maiden
Afterlife by Dream Theater
Rock the Night by Europe
Evanescence? Anyone?
Foreigner? Anyone? Can I get a hell yeah?

xposted to titanstrike

I. Ron Maiden

2008-03-17T06:58:00.000-07:00

Videos from the concert on Friday night:

Temple of Craft—spinning attempts

2008-03-13T06:58:00.000-07:00

It must have been a magical night at Temple of Craft on Monday (that or the mead I was drinking), because finally, FINALLY, I spun yarn with a drop spindle. I've been trying for months now. It sunk in on Monday, and span a little more last night. Lookie!

Before spinning, the roving looks like this... like flurry, fluffy jello ready to be molded!

And after, the yarn wound around the shaft of the drop spindle. I use a Top Spindle.
I can't wait until I follow the process all the way through someday—carding the wool, dyeing it, plying it, spinning it, winding it, and knitting it!

sprucing up the links

2008-03-08T09:01:00.000-08:00

Hi, everybody that knows of the existence of this page.

I added a few links on spirituality for your viewing pleasure, including a couple for readings (tarot or otherwise). Yes, this is something I believe in, and no, I don't think it's a load of hooey. I think, like many of our other senses, intuition and psychic moments get overlooked, and not really thought about. How many times have you been truly grateful for your vision, your sense of smell, taste, touch and used these senses thoroughly and fully? Really truly? Do you believe you fully use these senses? Do you believe we fully use all the capabilities we are given? I don't. I think intuition is swept under the rug and dismissed at an early age, and it is very hard to go back to learning to trust it after we're told by adults to not believe what we see with our "sixth sense." But that's just my opinion.

We all have gut instincts, and sometimes, no matter how hard we try to rationalize them away, they stick with us and we have to go with them. Usually, it ends up changing our lives for the better. Why not use these gut feelings to enhance our lives? Seems to make sense to me!

lyricalness

2008-02-22T11:46:00.000-08:00

Let It Take You by Goldfrapp

They sail light, ocean
Sail this night, ocean
Sail at light day, sail here
Filling my sleep so gently

Just let it take you
Just let it steer
Just let it take you

They sail light, ocean
Sail this night, ocean
Shimmer like gold, they're singing
Filling my sleep so gently

Just let it take you
Just let it steer
Just let it take you
This is easy

Just let it take you
Just let it steer
Just let it take you
This is easy

Temple of Craft Anti-Valentine

2008-02-12T09:19:00.000-08:00

The fruit of my labor last night at Temple of Craft

These felt hearts were filled with batting, lavender buds, and ground white sage. Before sewing the two sides together I embroidered both sides of the heart. While stitching the two sides together I attached a felt cutout of a bat wing. Ta-DAH! Instant anti-Valentine sachet.

I will be your goddamn guilty pleasure

2008-02-07T10:53:00.000-08:00

I've kept this blog on the d/l from everyone I know. Anyone that knows me on myspace or facebook has not encountered this blog yet (hopefully). This, of course, gives me the freedom to write about whoever and whatever the fuck I want. So, whatever stranger that comes across this little webvoid of mine... enjoy. Enjoy my pain, misery, joy, and many indiscretions.

I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of. I've cheated, lied, stolen, smoked the cheeb, and done various other unsavory things that would send me straight to Hell, if I believed that sort of place existed (I don't). A lot of the worst stuff that I've done has been involved in keeping someone close to me.

Recently, an ex of mine has come back into my life. Not just an ex... kinda THE EX... the one that I pictured proposing to me, marrying, perhaps having kids with. The big one. He liked to play mind games, and he was good at them... especially the game of catching me, having me, subsequently getting bored with me, and dumping me. That game he was a master of.

To be continued...

Rock Band

2008-01-15T12:22:00.000-08:00

this is a placeholder for my forthcoming review of Rock Band. Stay tuned.

credit cards suck ass

2007-12-27T07:36:00.001-08:00

edit 2.12.08—situation so bad that I'm moving back in with my mum... and losing the decent roommate, the built-in pets, and the awesome apartment. The good news? My family is helping me, I'm paying them back, and I won't be living out on the streets in a cardboard box.

-----

So, I'll just come out and say it right now: I'm in credit card debt. There, that feels so much better to get it out there. Sickly enough, when I pay my credit card company the small amount of money I can give, they like to continue the vicious cycle and offer me rewards and send me e-mails about new ways to get myself in further credit card trouble. I guess that's the way they make their money: by screwing you out of yours.

When I first got the hounding phone calls saying I was at my limit and overdue on payment, I panicked. I saw an area code I didn't know calling my cell phone, and I assumed it had to be the CC Popo. I was petrified, then angry. After all, it wasn't real people calling me... it was a damn machine, programmed to keep calling to connect me to a customer service rep. They didn't even have the decency to have a human being leave me a message... even that was automated. It's ridiculous.

Bottom line: I could be so much worse off. I could be one of those kids in Ethiopia with the flies on their bodies. I could have the AIDS. I could be living out of a car. Instead, I have a nice apartment, a decent roommate, built-in pets (including a kitty that loves me and doesn't judge me), a sweet boyfriend, a good job, good family, and my health. I'm not going to complain. It's simply a wake-up call. I need to manage my finances better, and that's all there is to it.

I need to write more

2007-12-18T11:33:00.000-08:00

Alex has once again outdone himself on writing.

I haven't wrote shit in months.

My home PC monitor is fucked up, so my only access to the Internets has been through work. This has been going on for about a month now, and probably won't be remedied before Yule.

Note to self: write more. procrastinate less.

totally sucky weekend

2007-11-18T16:06:00.000-08:00

All right, so here it is, nearly the end of November, and I have barely any gift ideas for people. Also, this weekend has royally SUCKED, because people have been taking their family issues and aggressions out on ME instead of the people they're pissed at. Which, of course, makes me pissed and aggravated. My way of coping? Going to a wings place, watch pay per view wrestling, and drink A LOT OF STELLA ARTOIS. Copious, copious amounts of Stella. In fact, I would love to be ridiculous bombed out of my skull by the end of the night, but in reality can't because I have work in the morning. And trust me, copy editing with a hangover is really not the best way to spend a Monday morning in the office.

Also, one of the cats took a huge kitty dump on the bathmat (AGAIN). In addition to this, I had to throw out my favorite pair of sneakers because I stepped in doggy diarrhea while walking Miz P. It is really not that hard to pick up after your dog when they take a shit. Honestly, if I can do it, certainly everyone can. So, thanks a lot, asshole who decided not to pick up after your sick dog. Thanks a megaton. Hope you get the clap.

In closing, doing laundry sucks.

The End. *takes a bow*

hmm... blogger

2007-11-04T16:42:00.000-08:00

I've recently gotten sick of just letting my writing fall to the wayside known as blog.myspace.com/knitegoddess, therefore most of my blogging will be done here from now on... I will try to crosspost when possible.

For now, this post is a placeholder for all the goodness to come. Stay tuned.